2003 Predictions

This is just so easy. Can of corn. It’s like, some of this stuff, I can just pluck right outta last year’s column.

Here are some of the things that are almost certain to happen in the year 2003, probably:

The New York Yankees will play in the post season. David Wells will not…

Jason Giambi will win another MVP award…

Several prominent major leaguers will miss action, delayed by visa problems…

Derek Jeter will host “Saturday Night Live.” George Steinbrenner will not…

Larry Lucchino will become part owner of a team looking for a new stadium deal…

Lou Piniella will be a force in Tampa, and the Rays will surge to a record of 70-92…

The 2003 World Series winning club will visit the White House, just in time for the 2004 All-Star Game…

The American League East will finish this way: Yankees, Red Sox, Blue Jays, Orioles, Devil Rays....

As usual, the World Series will be a better, truer, more spontaneous event than the Super Bowl, with actual crowd shots of real fans, but the commercials won’t be nearly as good…

For the first time, a Series game will be played in November…

Paul Molitor will turn down an offer to manage. Chris Chambliss will not get one…

Chuck Knoblauch will get his pink slip, and throw it away...

The Minnesota Twins will be baseball’s first team to clinch, hands down…

AL Central: Twins, White Sox, Royals, Indians, Tigers....

Rafael Palmeiro will hit home run number 500, and point out that Viagra is not a banned substance…

John Hart will come dangerously close to a deal for an ace in July, not make one, and then sign an old guy in time for Christmas...

It'll be close, but "five-tool player" will continue to reign as the most overused phrase in the sports lexicon. These gems will be right there: "good to go," "we all have to be on the same page," "anything can happen in a short series," “back in the day,” "intestinal fortitude," and my personal favorite, "it’s only May."

Literally hundreds of players, play-by-play guys, and color men will refer to a just completed game as "tonight," even though it was a day game...

Oakland’s slip to third will show that Art Howe had more to do with the Athletics’ recent success than Billy Beane ever even considered, much less stated, because he was too busy taking all the credit for himself…

The Seattle Mariners will play in the postseason. Alex Rodriguez will not…

Randy Winn and Bob Melvin will appear in the postseason. Lou Piniella will not…

AL West: Mariners, Angels (Wild Card), A’s, Rangers....

Mike Hampton will be ecstatic about leaving Coors, but will regret having to take his kids out of those great Denver schools. He will not homer, will not hit .200, and will continue to have replaced Mark Davis as the worst free-agent signee in history. Hampton will however, post an ERA under 5…

Kevin Millwood will beat his old team several times handily, contributing to the Braves actually having to compete in the second half, and they will be better for it…

Russ Ortiz will play in the postseason. The San Francisco Giants will not…

Mo Vaughn will be traded to Boston...

David Cone will be as reliable as any New York Mets’ starter, and that’s not a complement…

The Expos will draw more fans in 22 San Juan dates than they will in 60 Montreal games…

National League East: Braves, Phillies, Mets, Expos, Marlins...

Houston will bounce back again, and win the Wild Card. Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio will improve in the post season, combining to hit almost .200. The Astros will benefit, and win a game...

A prominent NL Central playing, power-hitting middle-infielder will be disabled after a freak accident involving water, or perhaps dirt, and either a two or four-wheeled recreational type vehicle…

Dusty Baker and his children will make a difference in Chicago, and the Cubs will have little trouble finishing third, 80-82…

A major star will test positive for steroids…

Mark Grudzielanek will say something stupid. Eric Karros will not…

Not a peep from Bud Selig about a “wonderful renaissance” in baseball…

Selig will seek a Council resolution, uh, consensus before a major decision...

The All-Star Game will almost certainly not end in a tie, probably…

The St. Louis Cardinals will play drama-free this year, and cruise to the division…

NL MVP: Albert Pujols…

Rick Ankiel will be demoted, disabled, traded, released, retire or enlist...

Pete Rose will be in our face during Hall of Fame weekend...

Barry Larkin will miss 50 games...

The Seattle Mariners will play in the post season. Ken Griffey, Jr. will not...

NL Central: Cards, Astros (Wild Card), Cubs, Pirates, Reds, Brewers....

Rockies’ GM Dan O'Dowd will drop out of the Executive of the Year discussion even earlier this year, when it's discovered that none of his so-called "revamping" can ever make a difference in Colorado.

Randy Johnson’s dominance will continue to motivate, OK, frustrate Curt Schilling, and the two will combine to win 40 games…

Matt Williams will be traded or released after a months-long trip to the disabled list, and point the finger at Orel Hershiser on his way out the door…

Phil Nevin to the American League...

Kevin Towers will complain about something. Curt Schilling, insufficient revenue, too much revenue, the Border Patrol, Kevin Malone, smog from Los Angeles, something…

Jesse Orosco, Jesse Jr. and Jesse III will come together as Gen-X, Y and Geez, the first father, son and grandson threesome to play major league baseball at the same time…but not in the same outfield…

Trade rumors involve Adrian Beltre. Beltre’s numbers: .285, 25 and 90…

More wins for Kevin Brown than for Tom Glavine…

Jim Tracy will manage in the postseason. Mentor Felipe Alou will not…

NL West: Dodgers, Diamondbacks, Giants, Rockies, Padres....

Remember, glove conquers all....