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Off Base


August 8, 2005

“I have never knowingly put Viagra in my body, ever. Period.”

Must’ve been the, uh, batting coach. To jumpstart the, uh, swing. To create a little lift for the stick.

Forget, did you? Well, while still with the Texas Rangers, and after teaming with Jose Canseco, Rafael Palmeiro was a pitchman for Viagra. Yes, Viagra. And he said he didn’t use that drug either.

"The Listerine Defense" would’ve been more believable: “I hate it, but I use it.”

Since baseball wasn’t testing for performance enhancers in those days, we'll never know. Maybe he used; maybe he didn’t. Either way, like the guy in the TV commercial, Raffy’s definitely wearing the devil's horns…

More Schwing: We’re not touching the Derek Lowe, Carolyn Hughes thing. We’re just not going to go there. Not with a ten foot blister…

The 2005 Dodgers in a nutshell: Wilson Alvarez gave them an easy out of his contract by opting for an early retirement. And they talked him out of it!!!

Man, I swear, if I hear Jim Tracy say that so-and-so “tries as hard as anybody” one more time, I’m gonna hurl. So help me. This is major league baseball. Sort of. You don’t get extra credit for trying hard…

The Washington Nationals are still searching for an owner. I suggest Frank McCourt. All in favor, say “I.” All opposed?

Remember When: In the waning days of the 20th Century, Fred Claire was routinely criticized for not being “a baseball man.”

Los Angeles Times writer Steve Henson says there’s a “pro Hee-Seop Choi contingent.” Who knew? Must be a group of genuine baseball men…

Olympics: It’s good to see USA Baseball name Bob Watson general manager for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Let’s remember, please, it was Watson who engineered the New York Yankees return to prominence, not Brian Cashman. Certainly not George Steinbrenner. Watson would be a great fit for the Dodgers…

Prediction: Bob Brenly will replace the current Giants manager in San Francisco; not the former Giants manager in Chicago. He would be a great fit for the Dodgers…

Statue for Jim Tracy: Sculpted in the form of the skipper flashing the bunt sign. And since it’s made of bronze, it’ll always try really, really hard…

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Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….



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